In these few years I have spent on this terrestrial divide, I have seen how life treats men, especially in their old ages .
I have seen men labour, sweat throughout their youthful life and the proceed of their labour used to cater for their wife and children. I have also seen how they ended up, my brother, as you are working hard to train your children and make your wife proud, don’t forget to have something for yourself to sustain you during old age, so you don’t end up begging your children to eat.
Remember, women can be jumping from one son’s house to another daughter’s house, which is not so with men.
Can I tell you the truth? You are a stranger in that family you call yours today. That house you struggled to build is not yours, It’s for your wife and the children, seriously!
A friend sent me a story recently, let me quote him here:
“My grandfather told me that a married man is like a tractor that builds a road very nicely but when the road is completed, a pay loader is brought in to carry the tractor, reason being that the same tractor that built the road will can also destroy the road.”
That tractor is never allowed to step on the road it built!
The same is the case with men, we deny ourselves the basic necessities of life, get loans, wear used clothes, just to ensure our children through high schools and universities, because we believe that the best gift we can give them is quality education.
When they are old enough, the fathers often become dispensable, the attention of the children shift to their mother. Possibly because some mothers poison the mind of the children against their fathers, yes it happens. Some typical mother would say:
“If it wasn’t for me, you wouldn’t have gone to school, I sold all my gold, trinkets, wrappers to send you to school, your father was only interested in alcohol and women while I suffered to pay your fees!”
Now the child is grown up and earning a living, and maybe the father must have retired, this is common with the guys, when they visit home, the poor father is given N5,000 in front of the mother, while the mother pulls them to the kitchen to collect 50 times what the father got.
“Once the child drives off, the father is told to bring money from the pittance he was given to buy this and that, buy sugar to prepare Lipton unless he wants to drink sugarless tea! These are some of the reasons men die early!
Mothers fly abroad to visit their children to do Omugor while the father sits at home, eating bread and beans every morning! Six months, the mother is still abroad doing Omugor. She comes back home fresh to meet the poor father licking palm oil from beans!”
It’s a wake up call my brother, nature does not smile men who didn’t plan for old age while they were younger.
Here are some key factors to consider
- Build your own house where you will live in at old age.
- Build businesses that will feed you at old age.
- Create conveniences that will engage you at old age.
- Build friendship and goodwill that will serve you at old age.
- Right now, start to be relevant in your Mosque or Church and Community so you could be reckoned with at old age.
Old age could be very lonely and agonising for men who didn’t make necessary plans.
May you not become a liability on your children at your old age.
May your children not wish you an early death because they can’t manage your situation. Old age without penny in your pocket is a slow, agonising death sentence!
It’s a wake-up call..!
There are three categories of people you can’t do without while aging:
- Your family
- People in your place of worship
- Childhood friends
Take it or leave it, at 60 years and above, loneliness kills because the children you are working so hard to train will go their ways to raise their own immediate families and pursue their own destinies, just as we did ours. At that time, it’s these three categories of people that will keep you going.
Please, out of your busy schedule, set out time to collaborate with your real old age cure against loneliness. In the three categories, the only one that knows you better and can relate with you down to heart are your childhood friends.
So why are you feeling too big or finding it hard to collaborate with them?
Life puts us at different levels, and all man at his level is important. Some friends are rich, while others are average or poor, that is the beauty and misery of life. Some friends are educated, while others are still secondary school certificate holders. it doesn’t changed the fact that they are all your friends.
If you are at the top, pull your friends who are willing up, and if you bellow, strive to soar high and don’t pull your your friends down with you. Belief it or not, at old age, you have lived your life, those children you are counting own may let you down, remember they have their own life to live as well. It’s your old friends that will get you through.
At 45 years and above, you have just 10 to 15 years of active working life.
Stop being proud and arrogant. Allow other people into your live and participate in theirs as well.
Respect friendship and value relationship.
Share this if you have the heart…
By Bola Adewara
Follow me @bolaadewara
Edited by Abel Wealth
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