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Fam­i­ly and Friends are the Major Cause of Sui­cide

Many years ago a friend told me about her failed sui­cide attempt.

As a teenag­er she felt the urge to be like oth­er girls. She thought they were pret­ty, smart and out­go­ing, every­thing she felt she was not.

She want­ed to be like them. She want­ed to be accept­ed. They knew it and made her do things. She stole from her par­ents, she snuck out of the house to go to par­ties, she drank, smoked and par­tied hard.

Her par­ents were first of all shocked and did a lot of talk­ing. Then they start­ed beat­ing her and then start­ed to curse her and use ter­ri­ble adjec­tives on her.

Despite all she did, this group of girls nev­er real­ly accept­ed her. They treat­ed her like their slave and were some­times nasty to her.

Back at home, she was regard­ed as the black sheep. This affect­ed her rela­tion­ship with her par­ents and sib­lings who were ashamed of her and did­n’t want any pub­lic asso­ci­a­tion with her.

She became bit­ter and angry. The locals called her a use­less child, some called her the street whore. Some swore she was adopt­ed.

She did­n’t care any­more.

She failed her exams sev­er­al times and did not get into uni­ver­si­ty with her age mates.

One day, she decid­ed that her life was ugly and need­ed to come to an end.

She went to the phar­ma­cist and asked for all sorts of drugs. The phar­ma­cist was sus­pi­cious. He asked her sev­er­al ques­tions which she could not answer. She could not respond to his ques­tions around her symp­toms and why she need­ed the drugs she was ask­ing for

He closed the store, took her hands and told her his own sto­ry. He had been there before. They formed a bond that day. He became her coach, coun­selor and les­son teacher.

Today they are mar­ried with kids.

When she told me her sto­ry, I had tears down my eyes.

I could not believe that the girl I knew of back then with that lifestyle was going through a hor­rid time. We all assumed she was just want­ed to be a bad girl. We did not know she just want­ed a hug and want­ed to be loved.

She still feels some anger towards her par­ents and sib­lings.

I lis­tened to her vent. I felt sor­ry for her and her fam­i­ly.

Sui­cide and depres­sion don’t often present symp­toms. Even where they do, we are not ade­quate­ly edu­cat­ed or pre­pared to deal with such.

How does one even know when anoth­er is depressed or sui­ci­dal?

It is tough!
WRITTEN BY: Lande Omo Oba

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